A New Year

My husband and I don't have "normal" jobs where we work 9-5 Monday
through Friday. My husband works at a large, growing church as the
Worship Coordinator and Choir Director. As it is with any church job,
he has evening meetings at least once each week, sometimes twice, and
choir rehearsal once each week. This means that he is away from the
home sometimes 3 nights each week. I work three 12-hour shifts at a
local hospital, meaning I’m also away three evenings. We are away from
home together the night of our small group. As a working mom, I say I
have the best of both worlds – I get to be stay at home mom to my kids
two or three weekdays a week, and I get to go to work three days a
week to help provide for my family (including necessary health
insurance!), and meeting my professional/personal need to work.

After working Christmas and the day after, I was lucky enough to have
eight days in a row off! We enjoyed the time together as a family and
travelled to Michigan to have Christmas with my family near my
sister’s home. I cannot tell you how much I loved getting to spend
that much time with my husband and kids with very few distractions.
However, that first day back at work after eight days off was very
difficult. Working in healthcare is unpredictable; you never know if
you’ll be busy or not. That first day was not busy which allowed my
mind to think more of my children and my husband than I can on busy
days. I even found myself thinking of other career possibilities, just
so I could arrange it to be with my husband more often. And then I
began to wonder if it was simply because of the New Year and
everything that it brings. We feel this pressure to declare a
resolution to lose weight, eat better, spend more time with important
people…something…anything, really…to make life better. From what I
hear, those resolutions are nearly meaningless. How many of those
people working out at the gym on January 2nd will still be there even
February 1st? Or July 1st? We eat better for a few weeks because of
all of the sweets we ingested before Christmas (guilt, perhaps), only
to be faced with Super Bowl parties and all the not-so-good-for-you
appetizers the first of February. And then comes Valentine’s Day candy
and Easter! Yikes!

The past eight months have also been challenging, mostly adjusting to
life with two children. My older child is rather independent and
intelligent and is a wonderful boy to have conversations with. My
infant daughter is different than he was, requiring more attention
from the time she arrived than he did. Perhaps my biggest challenge in
this arena is finding time for myself, either truly to myself or time
with girlfriends or…more importantly, my husband.
I don’t make resolutions and I never really have. But this year on
that first day back at work and away from my family, I began looking
for a change, looking for something different, more meaningful. I
began to long to spend time with my husband every evening like some
couples can. And then I reminded myself of why I took this position –
more waking hours with my children, fewer hours each week with a
babysitter or at a daycare, lower child care costs, less emotional
toll than my previous position, and the potential that comes from
working for a big organization. Perhaps my New Year’s Resolution
should be to remember what is important, like getting to go on field
trips with my son’s preschool class, treasuring the time I do get to
spend with my daughter while she is learning to move and express
herself, and spending time as a family. I also resolve to have a
regular date night when we hire a babysitter and go somewhere as a
couple, helping to remind us of why we fell in love and why we are
still together. My hope for you is that you can also remember what is
important in your life and appreciate it with all your being!