Ice cream, anyone?

Will with his two kiddos at a
Peoria Chiefs game

I have been around some pretty awesome dads in my life. My husband, Will, is a wonderful, caring and goofy father. He is in seminary to become a United Methodist Pastor and starts in his first assignment as pastor at a small church in a few days! His faith and his ability to explain things so that everyone, including our children, can understand help make him who he is. He’s also an amazing cook – have you had his homemade pizza??? He enjoys gardening and canning and likes to create things with his hands. He made a loft bed for our son! But as Will likes to remind me, he’s not my father. So I’d like to focus more on the men who have been fathers in my life.

My Dad and his girls

My dad, Jerry, is an amazing man of strength and faith. He lives his faith every day and has had a huge impact on my faith and my commitment to the church. He still farms and plays his trumpet regularly – two of the things I will always associate with him. He is committed to his family – his wife, daughters, grandkids, mother, siblings and aunts and uncles. He and my mom have taught me the importance of community and family. I don’t think he ever missed a game or a concert for any of us girls when we were growing up. He makes every effort to get to his grandkids’ events such as dance recitals, baptisms, ball games. He can fix almost anything. To this day, he is the one that I call if I have questions about my car, or the furnace or some plumbing question because I know that he will know the answer. I am grateful that I still get to see my dad on a regular basis and I’m even more grateful that in about 10 short days, we will live an hour closer to him and my mom.

My Grandpa with Ben 

My Grandpa Stillens with
my mom as a girl

My grandfathers were also both very hard working men who were committed to their families and their faith. Grandpa Stillens was retired from the lumberyard by the time I came along. What I remember was that he was a very hard worker even in retirement. He raised sheep and chickens and cared for beef cattle. He always had one heck of a garden – both at our house and their house. He had a great spirit and a great sense of humor. He suffered from Alzheimer’s and passed away when I was 19. My Grandpa Theobald was my dad’s business partner and lived just a couple of miles from our house – just a short bike ride away. He enjoyed bowling and horseshoes and his dog Sally. He passed away a few years ago from prostate cancer. I am blessed to have had so many years with two grandfathers in my life. They are part of the reason that I work with the geriatric population.

My father-in-law Tom

Will’s dad passed away from pancreatic cancer less than two months ago. Tom fought a very courageous battle for two years, and he didn't let it get him down until the very last week. The Sunday before he passed on Saturday, we celebrated our daughter’s 4^th birthday at a local restaurant. Tom wanted to go to the party, but we insisted he stay home so it wouldn't wear him out too much. He conceded, and wanted us to bring him a piece of the birthday cookie and some ice cream from Casey’s General Store. I only knew Tom for about 13 years. From the very beginning, he welcomed me into their family with so much love. He too was committed to family, faith and his community. He was in the Lions’ Club and the local democratic committee. He served on many committees at his church, the Walk to Emmaus, and even in the prisons. He was full of it, with a story for everything. He wanted nothing more than for his children, including me, to succeed. Tom had a love for model trains and had an amazing set up in his train room of a whole set, complete with a camera on the engine so that you could see what it would look like if you were actually riding that train. The grandkids loved to play with Papa’s trains with him. Whenever we would go somewhere together, particularly shopping, my husband and his mom would walk much faster than Tom and I. This allowed me to get to stroll along more leisurely with him and enjoy that time with him.

He never did get that last bowl of Casey’s ice cream. We went to the Casey’s and they were out of ice cream that day. By the time we got to their house after the party, he was slipping into unresponsiveness. He would awake for a bit, but it was not for long. So today, on Father’s Day, I think we’ll go have some ice cream at Casey’s for Tom. If you knew Tom, would you consider doing the same? I bet he’d find the Casey’s in Heaven and join us from there.

Happy Father’s Day to these great fathers in my life. I love you all. 


 

Waiting

Waiting.

Have you ever noticed how much we wait?

We wait for the coffee pot to finish brewing in the morning.
We wait for the school bus or a ride to go somewhere.
We wait in line at the store.
We wait in traffic.

We wait for something special to start. The concert or play you've been preparing for. A long awaited movie, or book, or concert, or college.

We wait to hear from a job interview.

We wait to hear the results of a test. A test that is the last chance to pass a class. A test to get into the top college of choice. A test to pass for boards. Or it might be waiting to hear the results of an ultrasound for a suspicious lab test, and then waiting for results of a CT scan, and then the MRI, and finally the biopsy to determine if that thing the doctor saw was in fact cancerous.  

We wait to hear where we're going to next. Our military personnel wait to receive the next orders.Is it near home?Is it across the world?Is it into a war zone? Medical students wait to hear where they will spend the next three years, at least for residency. Pastors in my denomination wait to hear of their next appointment, often not having much say in the town, the schools, the size of the congregation or their new home. And once we parishioners hear of that change, we wait to meet our new pastors while the pastor who is moving on is waiting to change his or her life in such a huge way.

We wait for the pregnancy test to show a plus. We wait to see the first sonogram and hear the heartbeat the first time. And we wait and wait and wait to hold the newborn baby in our arms.  

We wait for death. Some people wait for their own death, even wishing for it. People with terminal illness who are receiving hospice care may not be alert enough to wait for their own death, but the family members of that ill person wait. They wait not knowing exactly what to expect despite the wonderful education provided by hospice staff. They wait for the next visitor. They wait for their loved one to be comfortable before taking even the shortest of naps.  

My husband's family is waiting. His father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer about 2 years ago. He fought and fought that cancer. We thought he had won. The scans showed no cancer. Then he began to have other complications and after a long hospital stay, the cancer reappeared on the PET scan. It was all over. His bones. His lymph nodes. All over. Now he has been home for two weeks under wonderful hospice care. He has had so many visitors, some from near and some from across the country. He has tied up his loose ends. He has said goodbye.  

And now we wait. He has been unresponsive for many days now. We don't want him to die, but we know it is inevitable. We don't want to imagine birthdays and holidays and family dinners and weddings and funerals and Sunday afternoons without him. But again, we know that we will experience all of those without him, and without others whom we love, and we have faith the he will be in Heaven. And then we will wait for our chance to see him again. We wait for the call telling us it happened. We hope it doesn't come, but we selfishly want this chapter to be over. And so, we wait.

So how do we wait? How do we find strength while we wait? How do we not give up while waiting?  

For me, it's faith. I truly believe Jeremiah when he says that God has plans for me, and those plans are plans of good, not plans of harm. And I believe the prophet Habakkuk when he said that it will be revealed in the right time. And I believe Isaiah that says that those who wait upon the Lord will be strengthened and fly like eagles. And I believe that He will give us comfort as we wait.

Kari Jobe's "I Am Not Alone" gives me comfort.

So I wait and I pray.

I wait with Him.

How do you wait?