Waiting

Waiting.

Have you ever noticed how much we wait?

We wait for the coffee pot to finish brewing in the morning.
We wait for the school bus or a ride to go somewhere.
We wait in line at the store.
We wait in traffic.

We wait for something special to start. The concert or play you've been preparing for. A long awaited movie, or book, or concert, or college.

We wait to hear from a job interview.

We wait to hear the results of a test. A test that is the last chance to pass a class. A test to get into the top college of choice. A test to pass for boards. Or it might be waiting to hear the results of an ultrasound for a suspicious lab test, and then waiting for results of a CT scan, and then the MRI, and finally the biopsy to determine if that thing the doctor saw was in fact cancerous.  

We wait to hear where we're going to next. Our military personnel wait to receive the next orders.Is it near home?Is it across the world?Is it into a war zone? Medical students wait to hear where they will spend the next three years, at least for residency. Pastors in my denomination wait to hear of their next appointment, often not having much say in the town, the schools, the size of the congregation or their new home. And once we parishioners hear of that change, we wait to meet our new pastors while the pastor who is moving on is waiting to change his or her life in such a huge way.

We wait for the pregnancy test to show a plus. We wait to see the first sonogram and hear the heartbeat the first time. And we wait and wait and wait to hold the newborn baby in our arms.  

We wait for death. Some people wait for their own death, even wishing for it. People with terminal illness who are receiving hospice care may not be alert enough to wait for their own death, but the family members of that ill person wait. They wait not knowing exactly what to expect despite the wonderful education provided by hospice staff. They wait for the next visitor. They wait for their loved one to be comfortable before taking even the shortest of naps.  

My husband's family is waiting. His father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer about 2 years ago. He fought and fought that cancer. We thought he had won. The scans showed no cancer. Then he began to have other complications and after a long hospital stay, the cancer reappeared on the PET scan. It was all over. His bones. His lymph nodes. All over. Now he has been home for two weeks under wonderful hospice care. He has had so many visitors, some from near and some from across the country. He has tied up his loose ends. He has said goodbye.  

And now we wait. He has been unresponsive for many days now. We don't want him to die, but we know it is inevitable. We don't want to imagine birthdays and holidays and family dinners and weddings and funerals and Sunday afternoons without him. But again, we know that we will experience all of those without him, and without others whom we love, and we have faith the he will be in Heaven. And then we will wait for our chance to see him again. We wait for the call telling us it happened. We hope it doesn't come, but we selfishly want this chapter to be over. And so, we wait.

So how do we wait? How do we find strength while we wait? How do we not give up while waiting?  

For me, it's faith. I truly believe Jeremiah when he says that God has plans for me, and those plans are plans of good, not plans of harm. And I believe the prophet Habakkuk when he said that it will be revealed in the right time. And I believe Isaiah that says that those who wait upon the Lord will be strengthened and fly like eagles. And I believe that He will give us comfort as we wait.

Kari Jobe's "I Am Not Alone" gives me comfort.

So I wait and I pray.

I wait with Him.

How do you wait?